The UP Sucks

I guess I should blog about the upcoming series...but I don't have a lot to say about it.

The Sioux are playing Tech this weekend, in Houghton. I hate this town. In fact, I hate the region of the country that this stupid city is located in. Here's some reasons why.

Have you ever heard of the "Yooper Loop"? This is some sort of confusing roundabout that doesn't operate like a regular roundabout. Instead, it basically sucks you in and spits you out in random ways that you can't even comprehend. Every Tech fan will tell you it's really easy to figure out, but I still say it's a retarded piece of engineering.

The Michigan State Patrol has cars that still have the single light on top of them. I'm not talking cool either, like in Miami Vice. We're talking Unsolved Mystery era here. You drive by them and you're feeling like you're in some 70's Unsolved Mystery episode. And then you really do wish some unnamed killer would come up to your car and shoot you, just so you're put out of your misery.

The UP has some real creative names for roads and rivers. Two mile road, Three mile road, East Branch Firesteel River. Don't even get me started on the town names. Here are some examples: Bovine, Assanins, Baraga, and Gay. Plus there's just some things that are straight bizarre, like a hotel that advertises hot water and heat, another hotel that requires you to go to the lobby to use the phone because there aren't any in the rooms, and one random place where some dude named Bingo owns everything in town.

You ever eat a "Pasty"? I hadn't either until I visited the UP. As Dirty so infamously put it that day, these are nothing more than "glorified hot pockets". Seriously, it's a nasty crust, some potatoes, pepper, and I think eggs and meat. They should taste good, in theory, but no. They don't. They are disgusting.

I can think of one good thing about Houghton. They actually have a legit hockey arena. It's like a barn. You ever watch a game in Marquette? It's like watching a hockey game in a warehouse. I'm really amazed Brent doesn't go there more often to play forklift jockey. But Houghton actually reminds me of some of the arenas I played in as a kid.

End rant.